Saturday, April 26, 2008

Sick and Tired

Monday, Casey called in sick to work, and spent the day totally wiped out. He's been having a really terrible time with allergies this year (Perhaps because he's finally lived here long enough to build up allergies. I, however, since I am pregnant, am gleefully free of almost any allergy-related symptoms this season. There are SOME perks to pregnancy, and I really love this one!)

So, anyway, I was thinking it was just the allergies taking their toll on Casey until Tuesday morning, when I woke up w/a sore throat and Wed. it was worse and accompanied by a hoarse voice and some other mild symptoms (among other things, tiredness, but that's not new:). It wasn't the worst cold I've ever had, but since I'm so close to my due date (less than a month away!), I decided to take it easy in order to recover ASAP. I've been taking it easy (as easy as you can as a home-maker w/two toddlers--can't exactly "call in sick") for several days straight now, but every day I feel worse, not better. I can't sleep if I can't breathe through my nose, and have been waking very early in the morning and just getting up to sit on the couch and drink tea and read birth stories until the girls and Casey wake up. This is not the kind of sickness that knocks me out and I can't do anything but sleep. This is the kind of sickness where my eyes and throat hurt, my body doesn't want to move, and it hurts to talk, but otherwise, nothing is wrong with me. I feel unjustified asking Casey to take so much household and childcare responsibility, yet if I do 10 min. of dishes or housework, or have to be the main caretaker of the children, I'm pooped and feel horrible.

It is really hard to be sick this way. If I were asleep all day, I wouldn't be conscious of all that is going on, and I believe I would feel less guilty for not participating. But just sitting around watching Casey take on any discipline or meals or dishes is very difficult. I keep thinking "I'm not paralyzed, why should I not help?" It just seems wrong to me to let him do so much when I'm there and I know how hard it is to take care of everything all at once. I really hope I'm never completely bedridden for more than a day or so, because I don't know if I could handle not lifting a finger for too long. I really hope to recover soon, for many reasons.